


Five Tricks (+ One Treat)

by odiko_ptino



Series: Modern AU [27]
Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odiko_ptino/pseuds/odiko_ptino
Summary: Another Halloween special featuring Icarus and the gods.





	1. First Trick: Costume Contest

It’s still another occasion when Zeus refuses to judge between the gods and goddesses of his court; although if he HAD to choose, he’d choose Hades, same as anyone else with any sense. Though Hestia is a close second.

Hades is standing there holding a non-alcoholic cider, shirtless with some furry pants and hooved boots, and horns and with contact lenses that give his eyes a goaty appearance. He looks as though he wishes he could join the ranks of his own subjects in death. He, of course, is dressed as Pan. His wife Persephone can’t stop laughing every time she even glances his way.

This wasn’t her idea, though she threw herself into it enthusiastically. All participating gods and goddesses put their names into Ares’ helmet and drew out slips of paper; whoever’s name they drew, was their costume for the party. This would have been a disastrous idea about 2500 years ago; but they’ve all come a long way since then, and the light-hearted lampooning is a big hit. 

Hades drew Pan, and is the hit of the party. Persephone herself is Hermes, which was an easy costume – she just selected the ugliest, gaudiest clothes available to her and borrowed his hat. 

Hermes is dressed as Ares, opting to go with his “classic” look and swaggering around in a scandalously short chiton and scarlet cloak and helmet, flexing his muscles every chance he gets.

Ares drew Aphrodite and has been glowering at everyone in the corner for a while, refusing to be drawn into the party. He’s wearing a skimpy dress and Aphrodite did his hair and makeup for full effect, but he’s almost crippled with embarrassment at wearing such a glamorously sexy outfit and his glare forbids commentary or photos (though there’s no question Hermes has been getting photos somehow).

Aphrodite is wearing huge nerd glasses with tape in the frame, and high-waisted pants with a button-down shirt and a button that says “I went to University in Boston.” Although Athena has never worn this particular outfit ever, in her life, everyone present immediately recognizes the costume. Even Athena herself, who protests hotly.

Athena drew Dionysus and is standing with her arms folded, trying and failing to look natural in her leopard-skin one-piece while a grape-leaf circlet adorns her hair. 

Dionysus drew Hephaestus and to no one’s surprise, had turned it into a sexy!Hephaestus costume, which is mostly steampunk-themed and features a shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. Hephaestus says he’s just relieved Dionysus didn’t follow through on his first threat, to wear a smith’s apron and nothing else.

Hephaestus is blushing furiously in the same corner as his equally-embarrassed brother Ares. The smith-god is Apollo, wearing one of his sexier drapes. The brothers are drinking more than anyone else at the party.

Apollo drew Hades’ name and did his best to make boring black robes look flashy and interesting.

Helios and Demeter drew each other’s names and have been ragging on each other all night, with Helios wearing a giant granola box and Demeter wearing a frog suit.

Artemis is dressed as Poseidon, and was one of the few to actually do a nice job with her costume – but, notably, she doesn’t look much like Poseidon so much as she looks like one of the Okeanids. A fearsome and lovely sea-goddess.

Hestia came swaggering into the party dressed as Artemis – wearing a crop-top and short chiton, with her hair teased wild and piled back with a headband. She’s gone in-character, cursing and challenging everyone to arm-wrestling and teasing her “brother” Hephaestus.

The whole idea is a big hit. Even Zeus has to admit it, though he probably drew the most dangerous name of all. He made Hestia double-approve his outfit before he wore it out to the party, and the fact that the entire evening went off without any explosions or forcible shapeshifting, means that his peacock-printed gown and elegant lotus earrings must look pretty good.


	2. Second Trick: Rural Carnival

Although they’ve changed in tone and purpose over the millennia, the old holidays are still being celebrated in some fashion or other, and this pleases the gods.  They all have their favorite events – you haven’t lived until you see Zeus dress up as Father Christmas and surprise a few happy children here and there in December, for example; and Demeter is REALLY caught up in Groundhog’s Day.  

As for Halloween – they all love it.  

It’s not much like the old festivals of the dead.  ANY festival was an occasion for dancing and drinking, of course, but there was a certain solemnity to them nonetheless that is mostly missing from the modern Halloween, as it’s celebrated in Icarus’ city.  

Four gods in particular are the most connected to celebrations of the dead.  Persephone, the Queen of the Realm of the Dead, can occasionally be seen lamenting to Thanatos, the embodiment of Death, about the lack of solemnity; although she enjoys the parties, she misses the awed respect.

(Hades, King of the Realm of the Dead, doesn’t notice these things and possibly didn’t notice the festivals back in the old days)

The fourth god is the Psychopomp.  Who is currently having the time of his life chasing after a flock of teenagers, wielding his chainsaw and bellowing.

Hermes won’t commit to saying whether the modern interpretation of death is better or worse – but as a psychopomp, he does feel that it’s important to let the mortals deal with this great and terrible transition however they see fit.  If they see death as something to fear, and ritually confront and purge their fears each year… well, Hermes has his doubts about how healthy that might be, but it’s not him that has to die someday, after all.  

So he chases the teenagers around the corn maze and terrorizes them and of course, lets them get away with their lives intact, having survived another controlled threat.

A few rows away (behind a sound barrier – only the teenagers hear the roaring and the chainsaw), Ares is wearing a friendly ghost costume and guiding a set of much-younger children towards the hidden treat stashes scattered among the rows.

Hermes invited him here because he could see that the embarrassment was starting to get to Ares, so they left the party and are out fulfilling one of Hermes’ “duties” as a pastoral god.  Namely, chasing after rural carnival attendees in the corn mazes and haunted houses. Ares, who likes kids but doesn’t often get the chance to interact with them, got distracted in helping out the younger set; but Hermes doesn’t object.  Just leaves more teenagers for him to terrorize.  

Last year, Ares himself had been one of Hermes’ scare victims, but this year he has a nice surprise in store.  As a matter of fact…

Hermes spots what he’s been watching for, at the entrance to the corn maze.  He zips over to Ares, smiles at a couple kids dressed as a pumpkin, Black Panther, and a troll, and taps his half-brother on the shoulder.

“Apollo, Helios and Icarus are here,” he says, eyes glinting with mischief.  

Ares scruffs the pumpkin kid on the head and sends him on his way; then waves over his sons Phobos and Deimos from where they’ve been hassling some other kids.  

“Let’s get ‘em,” he grins, cracking his knuckles.


	3. Third Trick: Love Potions

“I suppose I can go along with it since he’s already somewhat interested,” Aphrodite decides, “but there has to be  _some_  kind of consequence.”

Aphrodite is back in her preferred costume – a sexy pirate – and talking to her son Eros, who’s wearing a devil costume and nodding thoughtfully.

Their old worshippers never really went away, though their numbers have waxed and waned over the years. Currently they’re going through another revival of sorts, which is great in some ways, since they all secretly love getting involved in human affairs.  It’s exciting!  

But while many of their modern worshippers are respectful, and often seek out the appropriate (or at least polite) ways to worship them, others…… are lacking.

Half the time it’s not really their fault.  They’re uninformed.  Back in the old days, they would have been taught the correct way to do things, and there would have been priests and oracles to keep up with the way the gods and goddesses wanted things done.  So the pantheon tries to be patient with their mistakes, especially if they’re well-intentioned.

But one thing that irritates Aphrodite greatly is being used as an ingredient in a spell.  This time, it’s a couple of girls at a party, who are trying to get some boys to fall in love with them.  This is an iffy thing to do anyway – Aphrodite inspires love, these days, but she doesn’t force it – but the most annoying part is that she wasn’t asked.  Apparently the girl simply called upon “the power of Venus” at the end of mixing her potion, without giving any thought to the idea that Venus is a powerful, ancient goddess who has agency of her own and doesn’t care to be  _told_  to do anything.

But, it’s a teenage kid. What can you do?  She doesn’t know better, and she has at least some misguided faith in the entity that ought to be encouraged.  So, since the boy is interested already, she will inspire a reciprocation between them…

But, to remind this girl of who and what she’s dealing with, she’s asked Eros to pitch in with a healthy dose of “unexpected consequence.”

“All right,” he says. “I got it.  They’re gonna do a game later where they dress each other up as mummies; I’ll give her a good bondage kink.  For either direction.  And there’s another game where they have to try to get objects from one end of the room to the other using their feet; so a foot fetish.  Um, let’s see…. Oh!  Can’t believe I missed this one!  His costume is a mad scientist, he’s got some rubber gloves on, that’s totally a thing…”

There’s no guarantee that any of this will take.  Neither Eros nor Aphrodite is in the business of forcing things, these days.  But she’ll inspire this boy to act upon his interests, if he’s inclined.  And if he does, and there’s an attraction between him and the girl…

…the girl is going to additionally discover several heretofore-unrealized kinks that will surface with embarrassing timing and strength.  With luck, she won’t miss the subtlety of Aphrodite’s message.


	4. Fourth Trick: The Real It

The bullies have finally given up on trying to chase down their victims – just as well, since Dionysus safely transported them somewhere else around ten minutes ago.

The boys were dressed up as their favorite princesses for Halloween, and predictably, were harassed by homophobic teenage bullies.  As it happens, one of the two boys  _was_  gay. His best friend was just supporting him and thought Mulan was badass anyway.  Both were nervous that something would probably happen to them that night, and they were almost correct; but Dionysus was nearby on this particular occasion and intervened.

The boys are now hanging out in a nearby well-lighted neighborhood full of other trick-or-treaters who are mostly too concerned with their own candy hauls to worry about two boys in dresses.

The bullies… are about to be firmly disciplined.  

Dionysus appears before them, wearing a flawless replica of Bill Skarsgard’s clown costume.  His appearance is abrupt and unsettling.

The bullies’ disappointment over losing sight of their gay victims is mostly forgotten as they first gasp at his sudden appearance… and then they begin to scoff at Dionysus.  

“Nice costume, asshole. Is that supposed to be scary?”

“There’s about a hundred other stupid It-wannabes, dumbass.  Fuckin’ loser.”

“You’ve seen this costume before?” Dionysus asks.

“Yours is lamer.”

“Did their costumes do this?”  He begins to pull his face apart, as in the movie, revealing the rows of razor-sharp teeth and the Deadlights deep within.  Faint screams come from inside the gaping maw…

And yeah, there’s not a direct correlation between “beating up gay kids” and “apparently actually confronting the terrifying clown monster from It”.  They probably won’t learn any important life lessons from this.

But sometimes, it’s just really fuckin’ nice to watch a few homophobic assholes piss themselves and run away screaming.


	5. Fifth Trick: Evening Stroll by the River

Demeter changes into a nice, autumn-themed jumper and a pair of boots and jeans.  It took her a long time, but she’s learned to enjoy fall.  

Poseidon meets her at the bridge overlooking the river.  “You look lovely in red and gold,” he tells her, taking her hand and waiting for her to lean in first before returning her kiss.  Poseidon’s changed a lot too, since those early days.

They talk for a while, leaning on the wooden railings to watch the water below.  Selene’s reflection is rather lovely on the dark water; Demeter will have to compliment her later.  

Poseidon has a bag mixed with popped corn and roasted pumpkin seeds that they share, and two thermoses of cider.  The corn, the pumpkins, the apples… all were touched by her hand over the long summer, to be enjoyed now.  These autumn treats wouldn’t exist, if it weren’t for her sorrow, all that time ago… strange, how things change.  Strange to imagine celebrating the dead time of year, and yet here they are.

There’s a sidewalk that follows alongside the river, lit by the occasional lamp, and they go for a walk. The air is chilling quickly.  Poseidon gives her his jacket, which is unnecessary, but it makes her smile anyway.

They pause briefly when Poseidon stills and tilts his head.  It’s a familiar gesture; he’s receiving a prayer that catches his notice. He looks over at her.

“It’s all right if you have business you need to attend to,” Demeter says.  “I mean… I don’t have much to do, this time of year.”

“I’d still rather not ditch my lovely date,” he says, kissing her hand.  “You want to come with?  I don’t think it will take long, and you might be entertained.”

They vanish into the metaphysical realm and Poseidon guides her to the source of the prayer – and the quiet, soft autumn aesthetic vanishes in an instant as she’s presented with the sight of a bunch of people shouting and running from…

“…The Kraken?!”

“Yeah.”  Poseidon sounds amused and resigned.  “Every Halloween, at least a couple of idiots try it.  Someone tries to summon an ancient monster for no particular reason that I can tell.  Just to see if they can, I guess.  Hades says it’s worse for him.”

Demeter snorts and watches as a couple of people run into a nearby boathouse.  The Kraken begins battering the door, tentacles waving wildly.  “Krakey looks excited.  Must be enjoying the exercise.”

“That’s why I let these dummies get away with it.  They make good toys.  But anyway, I’m going to let them get terrorized a little while, then call off the Kraken before anyone gets hurt.  We can go out for caramel apples and hot chocolate afterwards?”

They snuggle in together, watching the autumn leaves blow in the wind across the path, as the Kraken grabs various hubristic would-be summoners and roars.

The world moves on. Children grow up and leave. Winter comes.  With so much change, it’s good to see that there will always be crazy dumbasses trying to fight tentacle monsters on a dare.


	6. The Treat: Scary Video Games

Icarus’ video game selections are a little dated – he hasn’t really had free time to play them much since he started college.

He’s not sure why he picked up the controller now, either.  He should be studying for his literature test next week… but instead, here he is, facing the Pyramid Man from Silent Hill, while Apollo and Helios clutch at him, tense.

They still have a hard time quite grasping why mortals are so fixated on such macabre stories – for his part, Icarus has a tough time understanding how and why these immortal beings can still be so spooked by a few pixelated monsters.  

It’s not that he minds, though.  For one thing, the petty side of him finds it just a little bit rewarding to have a moment of superiority over these two.  It might seem trivial, but… they’re overwhelmingly more powerful than he is. They’re more physically flawless than he is.  They have a crucial role in the universe, while he’s just another drudge.  They’re better at athletics, smarter, more talented…

…but they both freak out like kids, in the face of a spooky story.  Icarus feels just a tiny bit smug.

Plus, he may as well admit it’s kind of nice to have them clutching at him like this.  They probably would disagree, but to Icarus, it feels very domestic and fun.  The three of them, sitting close together on the couch, while they hug him and gasp…

Oh!  A jump-scare while Icarus isn’t paying attention, causes him to yell out loud and drop the controller.  Helios and Apollo literally just did the same thing, and yet, because it’s the first time that Icarus has shown himself to be startled too, they both cheer and pounce on him, tickling and jeering playfully, while on the TV James gets killed.  

Gods.  Childish and petty.  He makes them watch him play Amnesia next as punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still feels like maybe I should have swapped the Treat with Trick #5 but oh well.


End file.
